Fatherhood

Papa
Valentino Tuazon, aka Papa. And them loafers.

Saturday afternoons in the Tuazon household were a lazy affair for most, but the scene of a years-long ritual for its patriarch.

“Jaaaaaaaahn!” he bellowed in order to reach my attention from any part of the house.  Papa always used my middle name whenever he was making a request.  I reciprocated accordingly.

“What?”

“Ice Water!”

Almost always it was ice water.  In later years we thought we solved the problem by stocking a mini-fridge in his room to hold bottles of water and other snacks; even then he’d call me over to hand him a bottle, rather than get out of bed to get one himself.

A tall, cool glass in hand, I went to his room to drop off his order, right on the ironing board, which was Valentino’s workspace for the entire Saturday afternoon.  At his feet were hampers of laundry from the dryer, on the ottoman were crisply folded tees, and from the shutters, bedposts, and anywhere he could manage hung freshly pressed polos and dress shirts.  My dad would grab his glass of ice water, whose condensation formed a fat ring on the ironing board, took a sip, and went back to work like a machine.  Grab a shirt.  Ring it out.  Sweep it flat.  Smooth out folds.  Make passes of the iron.  Flip the shirt around.  Make passes again.  Iron hissing with steam.  Fold it if it’s a T-shirt.   Hang it if it’s nicer.  Grab another shirt.

The Long and Short of it

My name is Christopher Tuazon, and I wear short shorts.

It is currently eighty-five degrees outside of this building, though it runs upwards of ninety-one by most noons.  In my part of the earth, there is nothing pleasant about being outside for any part of the day.  Steam fogs your glasses the moment you leave your air-conditioned refuges, and before long the pools of sweat from your chest and underarms form a salty Rorschach pattern.  Out here, at this part of the year, it’s simple necessity to throw pairs of shorts in the wardrobe rotation, so I’ve recently done so.  But in doing this I have invited questions about suitability and masculinity.  So I’d like the opportunity to explain why I’m a short short man.

The Waiting Game

I spent the weekend at Stanley in HK for the first time.  If you haven’t been there before, be sure to do so as soon as you get a chance.  On our first day I finally hit the beach and kicked about in the semi-open water for the first time since last August; my wife, friends and I followed with a few beers at a seaside mini-boardwalk for great atmosphere.  We ended the evening with a rooftop bbq of meats and an overabundance of vegetable kebabs.  Such a day was reliving my picaresque afternoons in Carlsbad; I was easily sold on this place, which made the morning that much more of a torture.

I don’t really sleep in anymore.  I’ll get up somewhere 6:30 every morning and it’s usually near impossible to get back to bed (unless it’s a work day, then all bets are off).  The sun was up, energy outside was promising, and everyone was fast asleep, nursing a food coma from the bbq.  So I did what any sane person in that situation would do: passive-aggressively make noise to “accidentally” wake others up.

It took three  FREAKING hours.

You know how many long yawns and fridge openings could fill three hours?  Not enough, apparently.